How not to organise an event: lessons learnt from the Commonwealth Games
Organising an event, big or small, is never easy. There are an awful lot of things to remember and, unless you're very organised, something is almost always forgotten or left to the last minute. If you're throwing a dinner party for your closest friends, this kind of thing is not a train smash, but when you're hosting one of the biggest sporting events in the world, the whole process can be derailed.
This is obviously not a reference to the Soccer World Cup, which, a few hitches aside, has been hailed as a resounding success. Instead it's a look at the recent Commonwealth Games debacle that nearly led to the event's cancellation.
When South Africa was first awarded the SWC, naysayers were most vocal about the bribery, nepotism and corruption that was sure to accompany the various tender processes. Perhaps there were incidences of this, perhaps there are many skeletons that are better left buried, but everything was completed on time and without any overt scandal.
India, however, was not so lucky. Preparations for the Commonwealth Games were plagued by bribery and corruption (they're reported to be the most expensive Games ever held). And it showed in the quality of the workmanship, the attitude of those overseeing the work and the blatant disregard for deadlines. Mere weeks before the athletes were due to arrive, the athletes' village was still being built, and the rooms that were finished were in an appalling state - crumbling walls, dangerous fixtures, broken toilets and, most famously, snakes. After a bridge collapsed many athletes threatened to pull out of the Games, and indeed, many of the Commonwealth's superstars developed mysterious injuries that prevented their participation, but in the end all the nations were there to compete for national pride.
By all accounts the opening ceremony was breathtaking, but India's troubles weren't over. Swimmers got sick after some of their events, even though the water was declared safe, scoreboards worked on a whim and the scales used to weigh boxers were so out of whack that no one qualified for their categories.
Lessons learnt
So, regardless of whether we're planning our next family reunion or need to stage a world-class event, what can we learn from all this?
• Delegate wisely. If you know aunt Hilda always promises to bring her famous potato salad but always arrives empty handed, stop asking her. And if your aunt Hilda consistently fails to come through with potato salad, don't give her millions of dollars to build a stadium. Track records speak volumes when it comes to responsibility and accountability.
• Start well before time. If your manager, the company's CEO and the board of directors were coming to your house for dinner, you wouldn't wait until an hour before they arrived before thinking about what to cook and seating arrangements, would you?
No. Days or even weeks before the big night you'd have your menu planned, if necessary you'd have caterers booked, or else you'd have roped in your friends to help. You'd know which flowers the CEO's wife is allergic to and which brandy is the chairman of the board's favourite. You'd see that you have a big enough table and the chairs to match. Your cutlery would gleam, you bathroom would sparkle and the dog would be bathed.
The same principles apply when you're organising the Oscars, the Olympics and UN conferences, only on a much larger and more public scale.
• Make sure everything meets the required standards of hygiene. If you're catering a wedding, don't lick the spoon and put it back in the mixing bowl. If you're hosting a cocktail evening, don't drop the martini olives on the floor and put them back in the glass. If you're in a country where the water is notoriously disagreeable to foreigners, use bottled water when cooking.
Perhaps most importantly, make sure all ablution facilities work. You don't want your mother-in-law faced with a rising tide of urine because you forgot to unblock the toilet. You don't want your manager to fall off the loo because you forgot to fix the seat. You don't want your guests wiping their hands on their pants because you forgot to change the manky hand towel. And you don't want international sports icons getting sick because they swam in your pool.
All things considered, India rallied well and the Commonwealth Games didn't go too badly. Rather than be faced with a similar degree of what must have been suicidal panic, make sure you only have to learn these lessons vicariously.
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